The Light Behind Your Eyes Story
by sierraq4802
Summary: One rainy day while Gerard Way was at home, his best friends, and bandmates, were out and his whole world changed suddenly when he heard news of something that had happened. Gerard becomes devastated and goes on a downward spiral. But with loved ones in mind, he gets better and finds a way to deal with this news.
It was 2001 and My Chemical Romance became an official band. The band consisted of Gerard Way (lead singer), Frank Iero (guitarist and backup vocals), Mikey Way (bassist), Ray Toro (guitarist), and Matt Pelissier (drums). The band originated from New Jersey. The first album the band released was "I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love" on July 23, 2002.

The band soon grew very big. In 2004 they got a new drummer, Bob Bryar. Soon the band began touring. They went to other cities and states in a van given to them by Gerard and Mikey's grandparents. On June 8, 2004 the band released their second album, "Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge." Gerard Way soon became an alcoholic, a drug addict, depressed, and suicidal, along with the other band mates becoming alcoholics as well. On the Murder Scene Tour Gerard nearly committed suicide and decided to opened up and talked to his manager about his addictions and slowly got better, he gave up drugs and alcohol and his suicidal tendencies. The band collectively got better, instead of drinking a can of beer before every show, they did jumping jacks to hype them up and prepare for their performance. The band began to feel better and sound/perform better. Because of the band's recovery, they were able to write and release a new album, The Black Parade on October 23, 2006.

Over time the band changed their styles several times and grew very close with one another. On November 22, 2010 the band released a new album, without Bob, it was called "Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys."

It was mid March and Ray Toro, Mikey Way, Gerard Way and Frank Iero were all in their studio working on the last part of their new album, Conventional Weapons and hanging out with one another. It was a sunny day; the sun was out and the pale blue sky was splattered with white fluffy clouds. Frank had been wanting to get another tattoo since December but just didn't know of what. He soon decided he was going to get a tattoo of a guitar with three guitar pictures around it, one for each good friend of his. The topic was brought up that Frank wanted another tattoo while they were all together and Ray and Mikey also said they'd like to get a new tattoo. While they were talking about possible tattoos, Gerard sat in a corner silently and began sketching a few characters. Because of Gerard's fear of needles, he stayed out of the conversation.

Ray noticed Gerard sketching and asked what he was doing, Gerard replied with " Oh uh I'm uh drawing a uh character idea" and held up the paper. The drawing was of a light haired man. He was buff and had his arms crossed in front of him. He was drawn with a straight face and a blank mask covering his eyes. Around his waist was an orange belt, the man was dressed in a blue suit. He resembled a gorilla with a man's head. In the corner of the page it said "Space Boy" this was the name of the character.

Ray loved the drawing and told Gerard he wanted that the be his tattoo, with Gerard's permission. Gerard said that it was okay with him and finished the drawing for Ray, adding more shadows and highlights in the drawing. Mikey decided to get a small unicorn on his side or arm, it was an inside joke with the group because they always teased Mikey for his love of unicorns, and Frank didn't tell the group what he decided to get, but told them it involved his great friends, the band. On March 20, 2013 Ray, Mikey and Frank decided to go get their tattoos done. Gerard decided to stay home and work on a few songs since he had no interest in tattoos because he was a trypanophobia plus he wasn't feeling well, Gerard was getting over a cold and didn't want to risk getting worse. So the three went into Ray's car and began to drive to the tattoo parlor. The sky that day was full of grey clouds and it looked like it was about to rain. Frank, Mikey and Ray finished getting their tattoos at about 7 pm and were on their way home. Frank called Gerard, they all decided to eat dinner together that night, so Frank asked asked if he wanted pizza for dinner, Gerard agreed and asked them where they were and if he should meet them at the pizzeria or just wait at home. Frank told him where they were and the group began discussing whether they should meet up or not. Before it was decided there was a loud crash and Gerard heard the three scream through the phone.

"Frank?! Frank?! What happened?! Frank?! Ray!? Mikey?!" Gerard began to grow very concerned.

"Gee...there...there was a crash... " Frank began to replied.

"Frank hold on I'm on my way right now okay? Hold Frank….hold on…" Gerard said as he rushed into his car. He drove as fast as he could to where they told him they were. While he was in the car he stayed on the phone with Frank and kept calling him to make sure he was still there. When he reached the spot he saw Ray's car crashed into a tree and another car crashed on its side. Gerard ran out the car as fast he could, leaving his phone behind and the keys still in the ignition/lock cylinder, and ran near the crashed vehicles. He noticed the police and ambulance were already there. Gerard saw a body on the floor with a blanket over it near Ray's car and he began to tear up at the thought of it being one of his friends. He walked up to one of workers for the hospital and asked to see the body to see if he can identify the person, the man agreed and lifted the blanket off that was covering the body on the pavement. It was Ray. Gerard began to feel tears roll down his face and he slowly started to back away from his friend's lifeless body. When he noticed the character he drew days before tattooed on his friends forearm, he couldn't help the tears from flowing down his cheeks. "That's my friend...Ray Toro." Gerard said to the ambulance worker and tears rolled down his cheeks one by one. "I am sorry for your loss, it seems to have been a drunk driver, someone was asking about a 'Gerard'? I don't know if that is your name but he's on a gurney over there," the worker said looking behind Gerard. He remembered that he was talking to Frank a few moments before. He turned around and saw Frank on a gurney. He ran up to Frank and asked how he was doing. Frank just looked up and said he was struggling to breathe, there were tears in his eyes. "Frank, Ray… Ray is gone…" Gerard started as tears filled his eyes. Frank began to tear up as he heard the news of the death of his friend.

"We lost one!" said an ambulance worker as he began to take a gurney out of the ambulance behind them. Gerard turned and feared for the worst. His worst fear was true, it was Mikey. "No no no no no," Gerard began to say as he saw his brother's cold lifeless face lying on the gurney. As Gerard got closer he began saying "No! No you're wrong! He isn't dead! He...He just looks that way!" When Gerard was right next to Mikey he fell to his knees. "nO MIKEY! MIKEY! MIKEY NO! WHY MIKEY?! MIKEY PLEASE WAKE UP PLEASE PLEASE PLEase please…. please...please…he can't be...he can't be..." Gerard grabbed his brother's arm as he wept. It was then that he noticed the unicorn tattooed on his brother hours before.

Frank silently wept behind them as he realized Mikey was now gone as well. Gerard went to the hospital with Frank and stayed at the hospital there with him.

On the car ride to the hospital, Frank told Gerard "I doubt I'll make it bu-" Gerard interrupted, "Do not say that Frank, you...you have to, you're all I have" Gerard said looking down at him as a sudden flow of tears streamed down his face. Frank continued, "Okay fine _if_ I don't make it, I want you to know I care about you alot man, Ray, Mikey and I will be watching over you okay? I'll give it all I can to stay with you, but, … but I can't promise anything. Just.. please be strong Gerard, please. I don't want to see you up there before it's your time. Maybe...Maybe this was just our time to go, but I want you to be as strong as you can, you can have any of my stuff that you want." Frank looked up at Gerard from the gurney and put his hand on top of Gerard's "I care about you a lot okay" Gerard wiped his tears with his other hand, "Okay Frank...just please, please if you can, try and stay, and fight, I don't know if I can go on losing you too." Gerard said as more tears fell from his eyes.

"Gerard do not say that! You have overcome so much in your life, and I promise the guys are looking over us right now."

"I should be up there with them, or... even in that gurney instead of you…" Gerard began.

"No, things worked out, the...the way they did, for a reason… it… it sucks right now, but they happened for a reason, sometimes the good comes with the bad, and from bad… there is good… and"

"Bad? Bad? What do you mean bad? This is fucking hell! I lost almost everything in a few hours, you are in a damn gurney, I can't see any good coming out of this Frank."

Frank squeezed Gerard's hand "Calm down Gee. It's time for us… you'll understand. I'm sorry it may end this way. If I fail, and lose this fight, and my light burns and fades to dark… just… just remember you will always burn as bright. Sometimes we must grow stronger...and… and soon you'll get stronger...if, or when, I'm gone."

Gerard began to cry more as these words escaped Frank's lips. He leaned over and hugged Frank the best he could, given the circumstances.

"Now sing me a song Gerard, I want to hear your great voice" Frank said smiling up at him when Gerard pulled away. Gerard slightly smiled and started to sing a song for his best friend, watching him as he smiled and closed his eyes.

They reached the hospital at 1 am. Gerard was sitting in the waiting room to hear when he can go in the room with Frank. At 2 am the doctor walked into the room where Gerard was and said

"I am very sorry, but Frank has passed, we tried everything we could but the car crash was very severe and damaged his lungs and heart. You can see him if you'd like." Gerard slowly got up as the tears ran down his cheeks, and walked into the room to see Frank, he needed to see Frank one last time, he needed to say goodbye. As he entered the room he Frank, his eyes were closed and his arms were at his sides. As Gerard got closer he realized part of Frank's shirt was torn from the crash. Gerard saw the hole in his shirt and saw Frank's tattoo. He remembered Frank saying that the tattoo has to do with the band, and he soon realized the yellow guitar picture with the red 'G' in the middle represented him, he dropped to his knees and wept in his hands, he had lost his greatest friends in only a few hours.

Gerard sat in the chair beside Frank until 3 pm, throughout his stay beside Frank, he fell asleep and watched as Frank's family came to see him. Soon Gerard decided to go home. Once he got home he couldn't think straight, all he saw was his three best friends cold dead faces. Gerard had decided to quit drinking, using drugs, and self harming, 11 years ago but was soon rethinking it, he kept thinking to himself _I was supposed to be in that car with them, I should be there with them, I should've gone in the first place, I'm late but I can still go with them_. Gerard almost bought a case of beers until he thought about what Frank, Ray and Mikey would say, and what Frank had told him, so instead of picking up alcohol, or pills, or even a blade, he picked up a pencil and some paper. He began to write a new song. He went into a drawer full of lyric ideas that they never used. He found some lyrics cut from "Helena" and made some slight changes before adding them into a song. It was about 9:50pm when Gerard finished the song. Gerard realized that none of the My Chemical Romance fans knew what was happening. At 1 am Gerard wrote on the band's website:

 _Dear MyChem Fans,_

 _In case any of you may have not heard, Ray, Mikey, and Frank were in a car crash on the 20th of March. Ray died almost instantly, Mikey died while they were preparing to take him to the hospital, and Frank died on March 21 in the hospital. They were coming home from the tattoo parlor. A drunk driver crashed into them. Due to the loss of these great musicians, My Chemical Romance will no longer continue. The last releases of Conventional Weapons will however be released soon. Stay safe. Stay Strong. Love you all._

 _My Chemical Romance is done. But it can never die._

 _It is alive in me, and it is alive inside all of you._

 _Because it is not a band-_

 _it is an idea._

 _Rest in Piece_

 _Frank Anthony Iero Jr._

 _Michael James Way_

 _Raymond Toro_

 _-Gerard Arthur Way_

Gerard took many breaks while writing this and couldn't bare posting it so soon, he went to bed and it was officially posted on March 22, 2013 at 11:37am. On April 21, later that year, Gerard released the song he wrote to cope with the losses of his friends, it was called "The Light Behind Your Eyes" and was put in their third release of "Conventional Weapons" in memories of his friends. He even began to learn how to play acoustic guitar so he can play the song one final time for the album recording. Gerard sadly couldn't bear using Frank or Ray's guitars and decided it's best if he had someone else play the guitar while he just sang vocals when he was in the studio recording for the song.

The last two releases of Conventional Weapons, that were already prepared to be published, were released, and Gerard began to stray away from music for a while and started writing comics. He wrote a comic series called The Chemical Killjoys. As it can be assumed by the name, the band had much influence on the comic, not only the name but overall. The plot of the story is a group of kids, in their teenage years, hanging out and having adventures with one another. Mikey was represented as James, a tall geek with glasses who has a punk style. James is really skinny and at one point in the story his glasses break and instead of getting new ones, he doesn't wear them any more. At the start of the comic, he was very quiet and usually kept to himself, but as the story progresses he opens up more and starts to change his look. Ray was represented as Roy, a tall slightly buff kid, the oldest from the group, who has curly brown hair that just covers his brown eyes. Gerard is drawn as Arthur the second oldest from the group. He is the leader of the group yet no one says it, they all just kind of know it, Arthur takes action and control things when or if get out of hand. Frank was represented as Anthony Jr., although the group calls him A.J., he's a short kid who is constantly falling and getting hurt, so he has scars all over his arms and legs. He is the most adventurous and wildest from the group, he is constantly trying new things to play and he is also always changing his hair. In the story A.J. and Arthur seem to be closer than anyone else in the group, they were just always with one another and were very good friends.

The first book in the comic series was released on April 30, 2015. Gerard was asked many questions about the comic and went on several interviews about it. He posted once again on My Chemical Romance's website:

 _Hey Guys, It's Gerard again._

 _I know many of you are questioning the new comic I recently made, and I would like to answer some of your questions. For starters yes, the story is based off of the band. It was my way of coping with it after the loss of my friends. Although it was never flat out stated, the kids in the story are all teenagers. And yes there will be more of the series coming your way, it did very well and I am working on more additions to the comic series. Have a great day. Love you all. Stay safe. Stay strong_

 _-Gerard Way_

The MyChem fans were so excited to see Gerard's new work. Gerard went on to write 8 books of the series filled with friendship, adventure and the start of a band. In 2006 Gerard became ill. He told some of his relatives and some close friends but did not worry too much about it. It wasn't until the summer of 2016 that he became worried. Gerard had cancer. And he was progressively getting worse. It started very slowly but now in recent years it started becoming very bad. Gerard was still clean and was almost on his 10th year, he had gotten so far yet he thought "hey I'm going to die anyway, might as well" but as he walked out the door and grabbed his keys to buy some beer, he knocked over a framed picture of My Chemical Romance. He picked up the frame and stared into a captured moment of happiness he had with his friends who are now long gone.

His vision started to become blurry and a tear fell on Frank's framed face. He wiped his eyes, dried the picture with his shirt and placed it back on the table. He walked over to his couch and sat down, he looked at the drawer that was full of lyrics, he hadn't touched it since he last closed it to write The Light Behind Your Eyes. He slowly made his way to the drawer and opened it. He had an idea, but wasn't sure if he was ready to go through with it or not. A week after Gerard was told his life was coming to an end. He made his decision.

Gerard decided he was going to write one final song.

He sat at his desk and took out some paper and pencils. He had several ideas for how it should go, but something didn't feel right, he didn't have his friends with him. He went through pages and pages filled with ideas for how the song could go, but still was very unsure how to approach it. He wanted to write one final song for his end. He wanted one final goodbye to his fans. It took two days for him to come up with the a chorus and a week to come up with one verse.

On January 27 of 2017 he released a demo for the song, it was called "It Is The End." A few months later the doctors told Gerard he only had a few years to live, but as time went on and he went to the doctors more and more he just kept getting worse. And soon years became months, months became weeks, and by that time he feared the worse, and soon weeks became days…

Gerard knew he was coming to an end, he could feel it, he was weak and frail. It was mid May. In the time he tried to write the song, Gerard released 9 more books for the comic series, his birthday had recently passed, and he had two more books he was planning on publishing for the comic in the upcoming month. He decided to talk to the fans for one last time, Gerard went onto the My Chemical Romance website and wrote:

 _Dear Fans of My Chemical Romance and The Chemical Killjoys,_

 _I am very sorry to say that I am very very sick and my time is coming to an end. The song the band wrote in our third album, The Black Parade, "Cancer" was kind of my way of saying that I was sick. That is why I wrote the demo (I'm sorry to say I can not complete the song). This is the last time I will be writing here. So I leave you all with these messages (and references to our previous songs)_

 _Don't Be Afraid to Walk this World because you are not alone, even if you think you are someone cares about you. You all have to Carry On. And remember The World is Ugly, But You're Beautiful To Me. But here I'll Blow You A Kiss Before I Go. So Hold On Tight, And Don't Look Back, continue on. This is the official goodbye of My Chemical Romance. So I Leave This Place To Join The Black Parade, and I made arrangements so two more books for the comic will be published in a few months. So Long and Goodnight. Remember it's not a band, it's an idea._

 _-Gerard Arthur Way_

He died later that day in the hospital bed, with his brother's old glasses beside him, Ray's guitar next to the bed, wearing Frank's gloves, and a picture of MyChem in his hands over his sketch book. He was now going to see his best friends again.


End file.
